hot off the fresh

LCP's sole reader (I know, we've really gotta step up the PR efforts, eh?) has been on my case for a fresh post. And so, here we are, back again.

I suppose we should start off with the requisite football updates, though I should warn you: Unless you're the type of football fan who enjoys eating a salad bowl-sized portion of warm, maggot-infested cottage cheese in a dank, bed-bug infested house where cats numbering in the double digits run around, lawlessly shitting on and scratching all your personal items, while you revel in watching English matches that are heavy on long-ball tactics and intermittent thuggery -- this weekend's results will have left a sour taste in your mouth.
 
 Man Citeh beat Stoke in the FA Cup final. I haven't quite figured out how exactly I feel about this result. On the one hand, I wholeheartedly despise Stoke, Ryan Shawcross, and Tony Pulis more than any other club, player, and manager. On the other hand, Citeh sucks too: Their success is the product of A) the gobs and gobs of money they've thrown around to acquire top-class players, B) a style of play that is so negative (read defensive, not cynical. I'll reserve the c-word those cu*** over at Stoke) and repetitive that one could draw creatively draw some parallels with Fox News (or, as Bend's Source Weekly calls it, Faux News), and C) a load of good fortune. So, in short, it's the lesser of two evils. And it's always gonna be pretty fucking difficult to out-evil Stoke.

The official LCP line, after further thought, is disregard towards City, enmity towards Stoke. Still, I guess what it is most perturbing is all the talk of the FA Cup signaling the beginning of Citeh's dynasty. I'm not saying it won't happen (realistically Citeh has more than enough oil money to drown out most EPL competition -- shit, they might literally be able to drown some of the smaller, low-lying clubs in actual crude oil. But talk of a dynasty based on one trophy, the FA cup at that, is a bit like calling Portsmouth a dynasty, based on their one FA Cup Trophy from 2008. And, erm, Portsmouth, you won't even find them in the top flight anymore.

Today, Arsenal played Aston Villa at the Emirates. The Gunners lost 2-1. Being an Arsenal fan is painful stuff at the moment. I haven't even mustered the courage to watch the footytube highlights yet.

And last, the Portland Timbers drew 1-1 against the Seattle Sounders last night. It was a decent result, considering that was the first point they've acquired away from home this season (at least, I think). Plus, despite this being the first derby between the local MLS rivals, you could tell there was no love lost between the teams or the fans. Lots of hilarious trash-talking also preceded the game, more from the fans than the players, awesomely encapsulated in this Wall Street Journal article: The Great Hipster Soccer Showdown

Ok, enough fills on footy for the day. Check back very soon (I'm hoping to get to it later on this afternoon) for some music and video links. Stay up, players.